Crispin Porter + Bogusky Copy Test

I came across this Copy Test, allegedly given to aspiring copywriters at CP+B. The first question hooked me. Tenacity carried me through.

Give a short, persuasive argument on letting Pluto remain a planet.

It’s pretty obvious that the anti-Pluto movement was a shill for the Moons of Jupiter Liberation Front (MJLF). Let’s be realistic, Jupiter is never going to let it’s moons free to become planets and their attack on Pluto was motivated purely out of jealousy. Give Pluto back its planet status. Eight planets isn’t enough for a self-respecting solar system and if this goes on much longer, children around the world will grow up believing that Pluto is a dog. Bring back Pluto for the good of the galaxy.

 


Pen a haiku about prairie dogs.

Be brave prairie dog
Stand tall on little earth mound
Coyotes want to eat you

 


Describe toast to a Martian in 50 words or less.

Toast is a welcome morning aroma, a kachunk, a rough, buttery, scrape and a warm, wheaty, crunch that goes well with jam.

 


Describe the color red to a blind person.

A warm hand on the back of the neck.

 


“Employees must wash their hands before returning to work” is such a boring sign. It’s ubiquity has rendered it useless (a sobering thought). For all humanity, please rewrite it.

Having a job sure beats having urine on your hands.

 


You might be redneck if:

Five or six beers make your dog act funny.

 


Write a really awful pun.

After nursing her brain-damaged husband back to health, he divorced her. She called him thoughtless.

 


Match the airline with its hub airport:

They got me here. I’m drawing a blank. WTF!


What’s your favorite oxymoron?

Social Media


What’s your favorite retronym?

American English


Write 12 synonyms for the word “Go”.

Proceed
Advance
Start
Continue
Move
Green light
Beginning
Urinate
Try
Leave
Travel
energy


Now write 12 antonyms for the same word. (Wait. Is this a trick question? It doesn't specify antonyms for the word, "Go.")

Stop
Stay
Red light
Remain
hold
halt
dig in
hunker down
put the brakes on
hold it
on hold
no go

 


Extra credit: Diagram the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution.

 

(In case you forgot to remember, here’s the preamble.)

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Here's my diagram:
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🇺🇸 →🏛⚖️🏡⚔️✌️🗽→📜
 

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